i must have been really depressed...

Next time I will do better and so will everyone else.

My life is not empty. I am worthwhile. I need not suffer for my mistakes. My life has meaning, I must always find it.

I can't worry about things I can't control or influence.

human again

so, it took almost 2 weeks to get over the flu. i did not have it as bad a most.

it's springtime, yeahhhhhhhhhhh, and time to go hiking and being out and enjoying the sunshine.

crappy

so this week i catch the crud. been warding it off all winter and i must have let my guard down. got a fever and a headache and a little congestion, but not much...

on a positive note... been taking phytoestrogens for about 3 weeks now and i think my hot flashes have finally abated... can't tell the last couple of days with the fever, but we're making progress in that area...

you should let the sun shine on your monitor occasionally, you can see how many finger prints are all over it haha

More...

Whatever I do, give it my finest effort.

The diamond mine is in my own back yard.

I must be great where I am before I can be great in the world.

I am my own thought and actions.

What I think and desire is what I will be.

I AM worthwhile.

I have the power to CHOOSE. I must choose for myself and not let someone or something else do it for me.
**************
So... today I officially start my permanent life sytle change.

I will give it all my effort,

no one can do it for me,

there is no magic pill,

and I will stive to feel good about my self and my world.

Not bad for the first day

Had yogurt, berries and granola for breakfast.
A couple of power bars during the day.
Chicken salad for dinner.
Glass of milk before bed.

Two hours of Irish dance in the evening... my feet are hurting today... so lots of pills, like msm and condroitan, collagen and ibuprofin...

I think the hardest part is going to be to remember to eat something every two hours...

Today, yo, berries and less granola again...

Living to 800

I have 746 years to go and my body is not going to make it as it is. So, on to a new life style.

When I was little if we did not clean up our plates (even liver OMG!!!), we would get yanked downstairs to the basement and spanked (actually beaten, but on the butt area) with a yard stick. Then the yard sticks all broke, so Dad migrated to a twine rope... I remember welts and bruises on my hips and upper legs for days afterward that hurt so bad you could not touch them. This was status quo...

So, as a result, I hate to eat, as does my brother. Dinner was not a very good memory in my younger years.

As a result, I eat only to keep the body going, and am none to concerned about what it is, and it is usually junk and bad for me.

So, I am fast heading to type-2 diabetes, (my fasting glucose number is steadily rising) and I can't lose weight no matter what I do. And in fact, I have to barely eat to maintain my current weight.

So, my daughter and I are off on to a new adventure in life style re-vamping. We have signed on to FirstLineFitness using Metagenics technology (fancy name ain't it), and a change in eating habits, exercise and general life style. And... we have a coach. Someone that we are paying, and who will call us to task...

So, this next weekend we both go shopping to fill up the larders with new goodies, and in the meantime, revamp the kinds of foods we eat. I am hoping that in the next few weeks, I can learn to enjoy eating and being in this body !!! Would be nice if I'm going to be in it for the next 746 years. LOL

Today I had plain yogurt with fresh raspberries and granola added for bulk. I need to find a grain that I can replace the granola with, I'm thinking uncooked oats, or maybe mummis or something. That's the first task, is to get my breakfast and early morning snack figured out. Something I can to everyday with a little variety. I do better with things I like and the same types of things so I don't have to think about it, just do it.

Film at 11.....

Ummmmm Where was I?

I am my own opportunity and I must open the door; opportunity will not knock on it to let me know it's there.

Don't close the door on opportunity.

Don't stop myself. Live in the present. I am what I am and I accept that. Set constructive goals. Stand up to a crisis. Don't destroy my own self image.

Use my talents to the fullest.

Discipline my abilities for maximum usefulness and put them to work.

Now make a list of what I am good at and improve on it and add to it...